Because I Broke Mine as Well
by ijustkeepswimming
Summary: What might have happened that day on the wharf when Joey accused Charlie of not understanding how badly she broke her heart, had Charlie not had to head back to work...
1. Chapter 1

**Because I Broke Mine as Well**

_Hello everyone. I seem to be CJ this weekend. I was watching some old clips and started to wonder what Charlie and Joey were going to say that day when they talked on the wharf, before Charlie's colleague with the funny walk interrupted them. So, this is in two parts. This chapter sets the scene and the next chapter is what might have happened. It's just a random one... well, two-shot, if such a thing exists. I hope you like it! Love, IJKS xxx_

**Chapter One**

Joey stopped when she saw Charlie and her partner up ahead talking to Gibsy. She wondered if she ought to just hurry away. Seeing Charlie now was too hard. Having kissed her, having fallen in love with her and having been denied the opportunity to be with her and make her happy, was too much for her heart to take. Charlie spotted her ahead. She spoke quickly to her partner and then sent him off before making her way towards Joey. They hadn't spoken since the night that Joey had moved out, the same day that Charlie had admitted her feelings but denied that she could do anything about them. Gazing at the younger woman across the wharf, she wondered, not for the first time, why she'd reached that decision. Joey was perfect. She was beautiful, sweet, kind and funny. She understood her. She trusted her and she loved her. The more Charlie battled with her feelings, the more she was coming to the conclusion that she loved Joey too. It was startling. She'd never been in love before. She had thought she was incapable of such an emotion. But here she was, falling head over heels for another woman, no less, and at a complete loss as to what to do about it. A little nervously, Charlie approached, keeping Joey in her line of vision. She'd turned her head away but at least she was staying still. Earlier that day, she'd completely blanked her. Maybe if she was sticking around, they had a chance to work things through. With her heart hammering in her chest, Joey turned back. Her palms were beginning to sweat as she prepared to have a conversation with the woman she loved but had been rejected by. She just prayed for the day when all her emotions wouldn't feel so raw. Charlie stopped in front of her. Joey attempted to silently warn her away. Charlie immediately picked up on it and struggled to find her words.

"Joey," she finally said. "Please don't ignore me."

It was such a desperate plea. Joey thought she would have done just about anything to make her happy. But that was half the problem. She wanted to be there for her, she wanted to be with her. But she wasn't allowed. From the moment they had first met, they'd bonded. Charlie couldn't bear the awkwardness that existed between them now. She lay awake at night thinking about how she could have done things differently. Then she ended up replaying that kiss over and over in her mind. She could feel it and picture it so clearly and there was such a big part of her that wanted to do it again. But now, she felt nothing but pain at the way Joey was glaring at her. Silence was speaking volumes. Joey looked down and then looked back up at Charlie. The desperation in Charlie's eyes was unnerving. Joey didn't want some big emotional scene and her feelings were threatening to spill out at any moment.

"I'm working," Joey said coldly.

She needed to be cold towards her. She needed to be abrupt. She needed to create a safe distance between them now at all times. The long haul she was planning ought to do it. That way she could walk away with some dignity and she wouldn't have to deal with it when the time came for Charlie to move on with some big, strong man who would cure her of any homosexual tendencies. It was ironic really. When they'd first met, Charlie had been so adamant that there wasn't anything wrong with being gay. Now they'd realised that she was possibly bisexual and she was completely freaking out and hurting the person who loved her the most. Joey saw Charlie's face fall. The policewoman's professional guise took over and she tried to cover for how raw her emotions felt.

"Right, well, you called the police so I'm just following it up," she mumbled.

Charlie had reacted to Joey's tone. She hated that she had hurt such a friendly, loving woman so badly that she felt the need to keep a shield around her. It saddened her to realise that Joey felt the need to protect herself from her. There had been a time when Charlie _was _her protection. She'd looked after her during everything with Robbo. She'd convinced her to make a statement, she'd literally saved her life, she'd taken her in and under her wing. Once again, Charlie was utterly disappointed that she was capable of being a good cop and yet her personal life was an epic failure. Joey nodded, trying to decipher what was going on for Charlie. She sounded disappointed. Everything felt so awkward now and that wasn't something either of them appeared to want. But neither of them knew how to fix it either.

"Right," Joey replied.

She promptly turned around and began to walk away. Just a few seconds with Charlie were proving too much. Charlie panicked. She was furious with herself for finally getting to share a moment with Joey again and having it not work. Once upon a time, not so long ago, everything with Joey had been easy. They'd talked about everything. They'd laughed so hard together that their tummies ached and tears rolled down their cheeks. But now, everything felt impossible.

"Joey..." she managed.

Joey forced herself not to pause, break down and confess her undying love for her. All she wanted to do was to turn around and fling herself into Charlie's arms, tell her again how much she loved her. Of course, doing that, especially with her colleague waiting nearby, would be the sure fire way of getting Charlie to leave. She'd freaked out over kissing Joey in the privacy of a hotel room. Being anything closer than a friend was completely out of the question, although both their hearts were being clearly displayed on their sleeves right now.

"Please?" Charlie begged.

Charlie hurried to catch up with her, desperate to keep her just a little longer and for some kind of inspiration to hit her over what to say to make her forgive her, to bind them together again, to make things right. Joey listened to the police officer's footsteps but continued walking. This was certainly a rare side to Charlie, being so open, showing a vulnerable side that said she needed her. She just wished that she needed her the same way Joey did. At the end of the day, no matter what either of them said and felt, Joey wanted a relationship and Charlie couldn't handle one.

"Joey?" Charlie tried again. "Listen, I thought we parted as friends."

Joey stopped abruptly. Her foot stamped a little too hard on the wooden deck beneath her and she gritted her teeth. Charlie began to fret. If she'd been searching for inspiration and the right words, she hadn't found them. She knew that. Her mind flashed to that night when they'd shared their first and only kiss. Charlie had asked if they could be friends. Joey had looked utterly disgusted. She'd infuriated her then and she was doing it again now. Still, she was grateful that she was turning around at least, even if she did it with a look mixed between heartbroken and furious. They had not parted as friends and both women knew it. There was no way that they could ever part amicably. Joey's feelings were too raw and Charlie's were too hidden although from the look on her face, they might tumble out at any moment. Joey turned around and looked directly at the woman of her dreams.

"I don't think you understand just how badly you broke my heart," she accused.

Her voice caught as she tried not to break down in front of her. She didn't want to show weakness. But she needed Charlie to understand. She needed her to stop trying to be friends when they both knew it was impossible. Joey had fallen too deeply for her for that to be an option now. She wished it was realistic that they could be close like they were before without sexuality getting in the way but the time for that was long gone. They'd already connected, they'd already kissed, they'd already admitted that they had feelings for each other. Joey had even said the three little but scary words. It was definitely too late. They stared at each other for a long moment. Silence said a thousand words. Charlie steeled herself not to collapse, to hurl herself into her arms and give up her crazy notion that she could ever feel anything but love for the woman in front of her.

"I do," she said after a long moment of gazing at each other. "Because I broke mine as well."

Joey just stared. It was the deepest revelation that Charlie had offered so far. If she'd broken her heart, did that mean her feelings were strong? Did it mean that they might mirror Joey's own? No, it was too much to hope for. And even if she did, what would it achieve? Charlie had admitted a while ago that she had feelings for her but she'd also firmly said that she wasn't prepared to do anything about it. Suddenly she wanted to say something to comfort her. She wanted them to talk about the whole mess once and for all. Charlie continued to gaze at her, holding her breath. She saw a moment of compassion on Joey's face. Her resolve broke. She needed to be near her. She needed to explain herself and make Joey understand. She needed to be honest and real.

"Charlie..." Joey began.

"Joey..." Charlie said at the same time.

They smiled shyly, hearts racing as they wondered where they could go from here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"After you," Charlie said, gesturing with her hand for Joey to continue talking.

Joey opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted.

"Senior!" Charlie's colleague called. "Charlie! We're needed down at the hospital."

Charlie frowned, looking and feeling awkward.

"Can you go by yourself?" Charlie asked.

She had never once shirked her responsibilities but this was too important. Suddenly nothing meant more to her than talking things through with Joey and attempting to resolve their problems. Joey looked startled and touched. Charlie's colleague looked confused.

"Okay," he said slowly. "Meet you there?"

Charlie nodded and watched him leave. Then she turned back to Joey.

"What were you going to say?" she asked, not entirely sure she wanted to know the answer.

She couldn't bear the sorrow in Joey's eyes and she hated herself for being the reason it was there.

"It doesn't matter," Joey said hurriedly. "You should go..."

Charlie shook her head. Her patrol partner was already in the car. There was no way Charlie was prepared to leave this hanging.

"Okay," Joey said shyly. "I was just going to say that I know you didn't want any of this."

Charlie chewed her lip.

"I didn't either. And I know it's hurting both of us. So, I've just got myself a job on a long haul. I'm leaving tomorrow so I'll be out of your hair."

Charlie looked and felt like she might cry.

"Joey..." she managed.

Her voice was pitiful as she tried to overcome her grief. Joey licked her lips nervously.

"It's for the best," Joey said. "So much has happened, Charlie and I just... I want... I need to get away from everything."

"From me," Charlie sighed, looking down at her shoes.

She felt like all the air had escaped her body. Joey was surprised by just how deflated Charlie was. She swallowed, feeling bad. Instinctively, she reached out to touch Charlie's hand. Both noticed the spark between them at the contact. Charlie slowly lifted her head. Joey recognised tears in her eyes and her heart began to race.

"Charlie..."

"Please don't go," the police officer begged.

She felt vulnerable and she didn't care. The idea of Joey sailing away from her, of not seeing her and talking to her was excruciating.

"Charlie, I have to," Joey said, slowly dropping her hand.

Charlie hurriedly wiped her eyes and nodded. She took a deep breath, suddenly needing to get as far away as possible.

"Fine," she managed. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

She moved to walk past her with slumped shoulders and a racing pulse.

"Charlie?" Joey called.

Charlie stopped and turned back to her, immediately getting lost in her eyes. She wondered yet again how she could bear to let this angel go.

"What were going to say?" Joey asked.

Their eyes searched each other. Charlie reached out to hold the rail to steady herself. Her heart pounded and she struggled for breath.

"I was going to tell you that I love you," she said.

The words were out before she had thought them through. She felt as surprised as Joey looked. It had been the last thing either of them had been expecting. Charlie swallowed.

"But... well, I guess you've made your choice so..."

She trailed off. Her cheeks were burning. She'd never felt this way about anyone before in her entire life. And she'd certainly never risked talking like this before.

"You love me?" Joey squeaked, hardly daring to believe that she'd heard right.

Charlie nodded and swallowed.

"I do," she said.

"But you still can't be with me?" Joey accused.

There was no way that Charlie was going to suddenly turn around and tell her that everything had changed. Charlie took a shaky step forward.

"I'm in love with you," she said, never looking away from Joey's eyes. "I can't let you sail out of here without telling you how I feel. I..."

She faltered, wondering how she was ever going to explain the rush of emotions surging through her soul.

"I've never felt like this about anyone before and I'm terrified," Charlie admitted. "But you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I need you. I want to be with you. Please... please don't leave me."

She struggled for breath and control. Joey stepped forward and held both Charlie's hands in hers, hardly daring to accept that Charlie was really saying these things.

"Please?" Charlie begged.

She moved ever closer and dared to rest her hands on Joey's hips. Their bodies tingled and both were trembling slightly as their feelings threatened to overpower them.

"You're the only thing I'd stay for," Joey told her. "If... if you want to make a go of things I'll..."

She licked her lips and swallowed nervously.

"But I'd want to be with you," she said. "I couldn't pretend. I couldn't..."

Charlie leant in swiftly and kissed her, not caring that anyone might be around and watching. Joey's lips were warm, soft and so inviting. Charlie felt shy about kissing her, worrying that she might do it wrong. Perhaps there was a different way to kiss a woman than there was to kiss a man. Just like the first time, Joey was startled at the contact but this time, she refused to pull away. She wanted it to last as long as possible, in case, when they parted, Charlie might come to her senses and stop things before they began. She pressed her lips gently against Charlie's, opening her mouth ever so slightly when it felt right to do so. She felt a shock of delight go through her as she felt Charlie's tongue touch her lips. Wrapping her arms around the cop's shoulders, Joey parted her lips a little more and touched Charlie's with her own tongue. Charlie's grip on her waist tightened, holding her ever closer as their kiss became deeper and more intimate. A rush of joy flowed through Charlie's veins as she gained confidence and realised that kissing Joey was more right than anything else she could have done. Their bodies moulded together as they held each other tightly. Finally drawing away in order to catch their breath, they refused to come very far apart. Charlie gently rested her forehead against Joey's, blushing and smiling. Joey returned the look. It still felt so unreal.

"I love you, Joey," Charlie confirmed. "I love you and I want to be with you."

"Then I'm yours," Joey promised.


End file.
